How does identity relate to our core values? How many identities do we have to support in order to manage the life we have built up so far? Would one identity or set of core values be enought to get us through life?
Family, friends, work, relationships and so on. Take a minute or 10 and try to imagine (even better if you would take a piece of paper and write it down) how would a week in your life look like if you could just choose one set of core values (one wicked me) and behave the same way towards every person in your life. Who would you be? What would be the default mode you would choose? Image the amount of energy you would save, if you would’t have to pretend to be someone else day in, day out.
For the bravehearts (homework):
- How does the lack of a coherent self / identity influence you life?
- What kind of knowledge would you need aquire to be able to have one persona?
- Which parts of yourself do you have the feeling you have to hide? Because they are ”so terrible” that for sure nobody would be able to love you like that – or would they ?
Classify your core values by their origins. If you are a venture capitalist, you probably have money or wealth as one of your core values; a professor, knowledge. Some people internalize their values from their parents, their environment, their culture, their company and never look further. The channels of indoctrination are very abundant.
And then there are the real ones, one could call them the ”soul values” for better understanding (but let’s not go down the rabbit hole of the existence of the soul). There is a set of internal values inside of us that is just waiting to arise spontaneously. The moments when we just are, holding our minds in a way that includes the whole field of existence, we automatically connect to those values. What makes them so special is the inherent notion that they have encoded, they are based on the well-being of everyone involved.
- Sit down, don’t move, let you mind run his marathon and at the point where the muddy waters start to clear up, tap into those values.
- Write them down and start mapping out the parts of your life that are missing them the most and what kind of actions would be required to make a change.
Stop looking for happines, joy and fulfilment in your life. Take some action and create a life where you are aligned with your true self and happiness, joy and fulfilment will arise as a constant by-product of the way you live. But remember it is not a goal, it’s a path that you have to work on constantly.